It’s just so wrong.
Category: Funny
NRA Board Meeting
Sitting in the peanut gallery for the NRA Board Meeting. NRA people are among the best people to be around celebrating something like Osama Bin Laden meeting an untimely demise at the business end of an American rifle. I was in the hotel bar when it happened.
Watching R. Lee Ermy be sworn in as a new Board Member as I’m typing this. I’m not against celebrity board members who can bring something to the table, and who at least try to show up for board meetings. The fact that Ermey is here is a good sign.
I’m told there will be an interesting speaker at this meeting. Stay tuned for updates.
UPDATE: George Morris lost his wife in the Tucson mass shooting, and is addressing the NRA Board.
“I will be your spokesman, as my wife would wish, to be your spokesman, to tell everyone that it wasn’t a gun that killed my wife.”
“I will be your spokesperson in protecting the Second Amendment going forward.”
UPDATE: Major Land is giving his report. The store set a new record $449,947 of merchandise. That’s 8% more than last year. Membership sold $558,711 worth of memberships or upgrades. We did not set a record this year, but came close. This year 71,139 members attended Annual Meeting. That’s only 989 people short of the record in Charlotte.
Remember folks, NRA are just shills for the gun industry.
UPDATE: David Keene is now NRA president. James Porter is now First Vice President.
UPDATE: Removed previous update. There was a misunderstanding on my part.
Missing Something
I believe an editor might have missed a key word in this headline:
One of my most common mistakes is leaving out a word by accident. Let’s hope it’s never quite this bad.
Friday Funny
I have to admit it, Air New Zealand has come up with a safety video that inspired me to watch while not even on a flight. If the first time I saw this was on an early morning flight, I might be a little scared.
“Because He Needed a Killin'” Defense
On Pulses & Politicians
One of my first stops when I wake up each morning is Capitol Ideas. Why? Because John Micek provides a take on state government that frequently makes me laugh while simultaneously leaves me wanting to bang my head against a wall wondering what the hell we are doing. Take this bit:
We Are Reliably Informed …
… that Lt. Gov. Jim Cawley is off to Washington D.C. today for some kind of national conference for lieutenant governors.
What do you suppose they talk about at events like this? We can only imagine the agenda …
9:30 a.m: The Governor’s Pulse, Where It Is. How To Check It.
11 a.m: Lunch, It Really Can Last Three Hours.
11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.: Lunch
2:30 p.m.-3:30 p.m: The Value Of Learning A Trade (participants may choose from workshops on welding, needlework and foodservice).
4 p.m.: Dismissal and Happy Hour.
To be fair to Lt. Gov. Cawley, Micek did leave off the Group Photo Session scheduled between 12-12:10pm. He also missed the fact that the Happy Hours are with the Canadians & Irish. But don’t believe that they won’t be tackling at least some of the big issues of the day. Check out this list of resolutions they plan to tackle:
- Resolution Affirming the Importance of Folic Acid in the Diets of Women of Childbearing Age
- Resolution in Support of ‘Your Heart is in Your Hands’ Cardiovascular Awareness Campaign
- Resolution to End Corporal Punishment in Public Schools
I don’t know if Pennsylvania even has corporal punishment in schools, but that could be somewhat interesting. We had sexist corporal punishment in my high school. When boys got in trouble, they could be paddled or take detention. Girls could only take detention. I wish I had gotten in enough trouble to warrant punishment so I could have sued them. For the record, I’m in no way opposed to corporal punishment. In this day and age, it should really be an option as opposed to a default punishment.
Friday Time Waster
Thanks to Ian Argent for finding this great time waster for long car rides. Called “Six Degrees of Queen Victoria,” a game you play by going to a Wikipedia link, and then trying to get to Queen Victoria in six clicks. I’ve tried it on more than a few Wikipedia pages and have made it every time. Here are some examples:
Chick-fil-A to Southern United States (1) to American Civil War (2) to Trent Affair (3) to Queen Victoria (4) WIN!
or how about
Celebuzz to Celebrity Culture (1) to Paparazzi (2) to Europe (3) to United Kingdom (4) to Victorian Era (5) to Victoria (6) WIN!
Of course, you could find someone else who wants to waste time, and take bets on whether they can reduce your number of clicks. For instance, maybe I could have gotten there faster through France, rather than Europe.
Gun Owners Stereotypes
Pay Toilets on Airlines
From my FlightAware newsletter, comes this amusing story. This took some planning, and a huge pair of brass balls. You can imagine the types of people who fly with millions of dollars in cash in their luggage. This guy is probably very lucky the police caught him first.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Perhaps you need a little inspiration for sending your loved one an email to share your feelings. In that case, take a peek at the famous email inbox of Elizabeth Bennett. I suggest staying away from the emails of Romeo Montague.
For those of you who absolutely abhor the holiday, perhaps you might find more amusement in the inbox of Yoda.